John Mayer
posted has said this
about the word douchebag.
"Death to Douchebag
1 of a 129-part series on the year that was 2007,
By John Mayer
"Douchebag."
"What a douchebag."
It feels good to say, "douchebag." It's got two
different plosive sounds, the "D" and "B", and nicely
wedged between is a wonderful "sh" sound (technically
known as a voiceless palato-alveolar sibilant, at the
risk of coming off douchey) that, when preceded with
"oooooh", give your lips the sensation of sliding on
a hardwood floor in a pair of woolen socks.
And "douchebag" was on the vinegary tips of
everyone's tongues this year. Trouble is, I'm not
really clear on what it means, and I don't know that
anyone does. I know that I get called one. Pete Wentz
from Fallout Boy, by measure of a google search, is a
douchebag 11,100 times over, or the number of results
that the search engine says exist. Zach Braff, who
himself wrote one of the better films I've seen in
the last decade is also frequently 'bagged, as is
some guy named Brody Jenner. In fact, if you want to
go big, so is Michael Stipe, Bono ("supreme
douchebag"), Thom Yorke, Will Smith and Brad Pitt.
Are you as confused as I am as to what the common
denominator of douchiness is? Is it someone that
comes off obnoxious? Self aggrandizing? Ignorant? Or
is it just someone who exists out of another person's
comfort zone? And doesn't that account for almost
everyone in the world, celebrity or otherwise? Don't
most people, given the fact that they're NOT US lie
somewhere outside our comfort zone? Ohhhhh…OR…is
being a douchebag actually all about having a bigger
smile than someone else deems you deserve to in life?
I think I'm onto something here. Stick with me.
In the case of Pete Wentz, whom I can comment on
personally, I think the guy's got the job description
of musician down pretty damn well. True, it's not
your dad's rock star template, but he'd be
inauthentic if he tried to fit inside it. Pete Wentz
has a truckload of ideas. Big, bold, colorful ideas.
They're ideas that have never once had their edges
sanded down, and for that reason some people might
find him or his band too much to swallow. You know
who else had that going for them in their day? Frank
Zappa. And David Bowie. And Peter Gabriel. And Elton
John. And the Doors. Pretty much every rock band from
A-Z existed because of their ignoring conventional
boundaries. Pete's going to keep pretending. Because
that's all art really is. You puff up your sense of
pretend as big as you can and then try and live up to
it. (Maybe that's what people think being a douchebag
is?)
I personally don't mind being called a douchebag.
I've met my fair share of bloggers, and I'm much,
much taller than them. It's also because I need there
to be some push on the castle walls, so to speak. I'm
not happy when people agree. (Don't make me start
listing the names of seminal artists that weren't
either.) I think it's easier to call "douchebag" than
to confront the possibility that:
THERE ARE OTHER PERSONALITIES IN THIS WORLD THAT ARE
NOT INHERENTLY SYMPATHETIC TO OUR OWN.
Maybe I should take this opportunity to define
douchebag once and for all; I think if enjoying your
life as you choose happens to spill over into
treating others without respect, then you're a total,
world-class douchebag.
But then wouldn't that also serve as a fitting
description of the boy who cried "douche"?
Maybe it's just really fun to say."